I didn’t know I would be here in life
Never
This place of toil and pain
Every day and every moment of every day
Nowhere to go
Every way blocked or bad or gone
Who imagines their life will be like that
Their beautiful awesome glorious dreams crushed over and
over again and again
No one around any more now
Not now
They all left long ago
Talking of promises and love
None of them would believe this
Who would believe this
This life, this state of existence
Bad things everywhere
And the pain, Oh Lord, the pain
Everyday, every waking moment, every single day
The pain of me
Why did You make me?
I can be around others
For a few minutes
But then I have to get back
“home”
Where the demons attack
Ripping their teeth into me
And the bad thoughts come
And I venture into a place I never knew existed
Alone
Utterly alone
No past, no now
No will be
show me the Will Be
show me You are listening to me
please
help
Of course I’ve sinned
Who sinned that this person might go through this
No one
But to show the glory of God
And I get that
All of it
And I get I was promised nothing here
But this is below nothing
I’m too weak and tired
No one is here
No one is out there
Just voices saying my fault, my fault, my fault
Even You spoke of throwing scraps to the dogs under the
table
That’s me now
Fighting down there
Below people
Help me now
I am asking You
please
Help me now
____
The first poem from a new poetry site -- www.anonymous-poet.com
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