Only yesterday afternoon I was stopped on the sidewalk by a young, attractive, well-spoken and well-dressed woman and asked if I could help her put together cab fare. I'm usually an easy touch, but this was the third time in less than two weeks that I had been approached by someone young, well-spoken, etc. and asked for a handout. So I gave her a polite brush-off. I figured I looked like a kindly old gentlemen with more than enough cash on hand to help a pretty young thing out. But I wonder if this is some sort of trend in the making.
Frank, be careful with your generosity, K? Not telling you what to do (as if I could); but, I'm sure Nigel B. remembers a "kindly old gentleman" in Vancouver who was viciously attacked last summer (inside a Catholic-Church foyer, no less).
ReplyDeleteThe assault was captured on CCTV; there's an image grab accompanying the story. (Link below.) The best response, one I had to learn the hard way? Sorry. I don't carry cash anymore; the S.O. stopped giving me an allowance when the economy went t*ts up.
BTW, though, from the pics of you I've seen, you don't come across as a kindly old gentleman at all (since you have to be, oh, at least 75 to fit that snack bracket). You resemble a sprightly-go-lightly youthful Old Tory. (LOL.)
To The Globe and Mail:
http://tinyurl.com/359ezl
i've learnt the hard way not to give to people who approach you. i only give to stationary beggars who won't follow me saying "If you could just spare another 50 pence..." A friend of mine got taken for everything in his wallet by a mobile beggar, he's a very sheltered Xian so when the guy approached him with a sob story he believed it all. i, not being a sheltered Xian, saw the beggar was a junkie and said sorry, can't help.
ReplyDeleteIf you do like to help out, it's worth keeping a separate change wallet, so if they demand it all (at knife point), they're only getting your spare change anyway.
In England, thanks to our generous benefits system, there are people who live in council flats, get approximately £60/week for food + beer + drugs, and supplement this by spending all day walking around town begging. They probably make more than i do (not a great feat).
Frank,
ReplyDeleteLonger ago than I care to think about--well, it was 1969--I was spending my days as a volunteer at the War Resisters League headquarters in New York, a rundown building on a rundown street in a rundown neighborhood that one entered by stepping over hopefully sleeping drunks. Being a middle-class kid with middle-class sensibilities, I was confused about the proper pacifist attitude to assume and approach to take with the local wino population.
The late, lamented anarchist Igal Roodenko (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igal_Roodenko), whom I greatly admired for his wit, wisdom, and years in the printing craft, told me that he had long had the same discomfort but that he had settled on a strategy that satisfied his conscience as to its justness. He had noticed that when someone approached him with a good story or with a performance of some sort, he didn't mind handing the fellow some change. His discomfort came from the interactions with simple begging. So henceforward, when he was confronted by a panhandler, he would engage in a dialogue to this effect: You want me to give something to you, but I need to get something in exchange from you. What can you give me? If the person made any effort at all to hold up his side of the transaction, Igal would give him something (I'm using "he" and "him" because at that place at that time, the beggars were all men).
I've used this same strategy ever since that conversation, and it works for me. I commend it to you for your consideration as well.
Excellent suggestion, elberry, one I shall immediately implement. (I, too, prolly earn less than your council flatter); and, I already own a spare little spare-change purse perfect for the purpose. Wish I'd heard your idea earlier, much earlier (prior to Sunday 13 November 1977, say); so, thank you. LOL @ "mobile beggars." Sorry to hear what happened to your Xian friend; hope they repaired their ways. What "hard-way" thing happened that caused you to mend your methods? (Just nosey; you can ignore moi . . ..)
ReplyDeleteDM? Should you find some free time, I'd also love to hear what kinds of responses you've received from hopefully awake beggars. (Loved both your descrips, BTW. Usefully entertaining information.) Yep, still just nosey . . .. I'd also like to hear Frank's story about ending up a floor below, too, though; so, I'm an equal-op nosey parker :)).
My usual reply to those who need help is to offer to buy them a meal. Some have taken me up on the offer. The charlatans have said, no, they need money.
ReplyDeleteBut now that you mention it, I've been noticing it more here in New York too, Frank. People dressed perfectly nice asking me for change for some unspecified person. I was hit up this morning too, even when I wore an unwashed SPAM t-shirt and had stubble. (I suppose the fact that I was reading a hardback somehow made me respectable.) I'm not sure if this trend has come from rising economics or an effort to scam those who seemingly aren't aware. (Noticed the price of coffee beans went up $4 in the supermarket in the last week, and there have been other spikes of late.) But it certainly is interesting. And I hope it isn't a sign of things to come.