... 15 long minutes.
I certainly don't think one should seek to be admired. But I'm not sure one should seek to be loved, either. Nice if it happens, of course. What is important is learning to love, which can often mean the acceptance of not being loved in return.
profound
ReplyDeleteGenuine love means to will the good of the other, even if that good runs counter to our own desires. The Marschallin in Der Rosenkavalier has probably never geuninely loved anyone in her life except herself (presuming you can even love yourself if you've never loved another, which is quite a presumption). Then she meets Octavian. And gives him up to Sophie ... out of love, genuine love. Giving us one of the greatest and most heartbreaking scenes in all of opera. There is a similar, though darker scene in Mauriac's Therese.
ReplyDeleteBoth of my parents and my sister have commented on how good my friends are - how lucky i am to have friends who bale me out when i'm broke, or help me move house, save my life, let me live with them for free, or send me exquisite & odd gifts. There's often a slightly bewildered note in the comment - as if wondering how i could be so lucky, to have so many friends, who are so generous. My family don't really have friends, just people they know.
ReplyDeleteWhen i stopped to think about it, my friends are unusually loyal & decent. All i could think of, as a half-explanation, is that i don't try to manipulate people, i just like being with interesting people and i find all kinds of odd things interesting. My greatest poverty has been when i have gone for months without meeting people i could love. Without that, life is pretty grim. So all i ask is to meet people i can love - everything outside of that is beyond my control. But it seems, looking at my life as if from the outside, that it's not a bad way of making & keeping friends.