A good satori indeed. I think you're approaching what Krishnamurti gets at, over and over again. I've often taken away from him the message that life is to be lived, not just thought about. While philosophy and theology are fun to think about, ultimately I'm never able to take them very seriously, because neither are capable of anything more than supporting or justifying a lived life. The lived life is still what really matters, in the end. Scholastic theology I have no use for; it's all mind-games. Those that confront Mystery, and can only say, in the end, "Thy Will Be Done," are those I can stand shoulder to shoulder with.