Friday, March 03, 2017

Yes, It Must Be...

Area Man Accepts Burden Of Being Only Person On Earth Who Understands How World Actually Works
...It was only after years of listening to people voice their shocking misconceptions about workplace etiquette, taxes, the relative merits of various makes and models of cars, and common grammar mistakes did Krause reportedly realize that he was the only living person endowed with such knowledge and that no one anywhere understood the world as unerringly as he did.
According to Krause, his duty to enlighten the other 7.4 billion inhabitants of the planet follows him wherever he goes. Whether he is eating dinner at a restaurant with his family, walking through the breakroom at work, or spending time with friends, he told reporters that he must always be ready to rise to the occasion, imparting at a moment’s notice insights regarding what makes a good movie, whether a particular football player should be traded, or the superiority of certain rideshare apps over others...
It's Onion Friday! 

No comments:

Post a Comment