… Dr. Johnson’s Dream | Lapham’s Quarterly. (Hat tip, Dave Lull.)
His father was far from Johnson’s only source of guilt. It shines through the prayers he composed in the wake of his beloved wife’s death, animating them with a pained sense of remorse for things not done, kindnesses not offered, that will be familiar to anyone who has lost a loved one. Nearly all of Johnson’s guilt takes that form: less a regret for actions taken than a deeply religious sense of failing to do what he should have done—fears of squandering what he truly believed were his gifts from God. His journals abound with acknowledgments of failings and resolutions to do better: laments that “this day I have trifled away,” repeated resolutions “to rise early,” reminders to “to do good as occasion offers itself,” even, late in life, “to review former resolutions.”This reminds one of a line in Philip Larkin's "Aubade" — "… the good not done, the love not given, time torn off unused …" That is where sin dwells.
No comments:
Post a Comment