TA DA!

DA TA! Take it away, Eric The Orchestra Leader . . . Off-the-cough doff . . . Wait a minute, that's Monty Python's Flying Circus, innit? Let's do this properly . . .

Earth to Extrapolating FeastMaestrae . . .

ANNOUNCING (WITH APPROPRIATE DRUMROLL FANFLOURISHMENT AND CYMBALISATION) . . .

THE INAUGURAL BITE HAIKU AWARD

Yes, that's right, you're not being left stranded in the cold this festive season; thus, it is our pleasure to invite you to come in from same and play along in our inaugural BITE HAIKU Order-of-the-Unified-Heart POKER Game . . . Here's the ante-uppin' details: Once upon a rhyme . . . er, um, ah . . . Everybuddy knows Haiku's form, history, demands, and constraints; so, we can skip the legalities and cut the deck:

There will be two categories:

Classic
Contemporary

The former, of course, requires one stick strickly to the stringent rules and rigours of the timeless form; the latter, off course, looks to culture rather than nature for its creation (or inspiration). Easy as 3.14159265 . . .

In "Use & Sign," published posthumously by Faber in the extraordinarily prescient collection, The Dying Gaul (1978), poet and painter David Jones (1 November 1895 - 28 October 1974) posited the notion that contemporary human beans can no longer be counted upon to look to nature for meaning, value, and purpose (among other items); rather, the 1921 convert to Catholicism felt artists — particularly poets — ought to embrace culture in the same way the Romantics elevated nature (for affirmation, self-validation, and an understanding of collective or dominant sociological, political, scientific, and religious systems to locate and "translate" elementary essentials in situ).

Briefly, the High-Modernist considered "gratuity" (art and the sacral) as important as "utility" (the bizthness of pragmatica) to keep barbarity at arm's length by balancing the utile (or, useful, in practical terms) with the extra-utile or sacral.

Thus? It's your turn to take the Haiku lead. That's right; according to those in the know about the way these things go, you, Dear BITERS, are warmly invited to submit your hottest Haiku in either the traditional (a.k.a. Classic) or contemporary (a.k.a. Modern) mode; the former, as you know, looks to elements of nature while the latter's focus involves the discovery of substance and sustenance in culture (however one defines that term; and, of course, the results will obviously underscore the way in which each entry does justify its particular poetic leanings).

[screeech]

We interrupt this announcement to ID an option not available to you. Thank you for your indulgence in this scatter-matter.

[/screeech]

You may submit as many Haiku as you wish; however, each entry will have to be done so within the body of its own plain-text email with the following information in the Subject line: BITE HAIKU ENTRY ("Title of Haiku"). Please do not "attach" anything; any entries with attachments will be discarded.

Additionally, to expedite the judging process, please format your email using the following model as your template (since names and addies will be removed from each entry; then, each will be assigned a number and forwarded to our highly qualified Haikurator and impartial judge to ensure integrity and impartiality; additionally, said arbiter shall remain a mystery until the announcement of the winners so that you cannot cajole, whine, bribe, nor otherwise sway whoevah howevah):

"Haiku Title"

Under the title
You will find said Haiku
brand new, inked by you

Contemporary (or Classic) Entry
By You (youremail@thebinqzoo.haiku)

That's the good news. The best news?

The Prizes

There shall be two (duh); both signify your induction into The Order of the Unified Heart of Leonard Cohen:

The inaugural recipient of the finest "Contemporary Haiku" shall receive, aside from world-wide recognition, a one-size fitz-all gold ring created by Leonard Cohen bearing the well-known image of the interlocking hearts (or, as LC calls it, The Unified Heart); it's the genuine (no longer available) article; and, now, a rare collectors' item (which will be sent to you ipso-quicko by registered post along with fairly obscure LC concert boots, etc., for your listening pleasure)

The inaugural recipient of the finest "Classic Haiku" shall receive, aside from universal adoration, a lovely genuine LC-designed lapel pin (or badge) bearing the same image of interlocking hearts (in either yellow or blue, depending upon which colour most appeals to you); plus, aside from this collectors' item (which will be sent to you via Pony Express, natch), you, too, shall receive some fine and fairly rare bootleg CDs for your listening pleasure)

The deadline for contributions? Let's make it 8 January 2009; and, yes, you can enter as much as many as you wish; however, each entry must be individually emailed in order to avoid terminal damnage and disqualification.

Please submit your creations to the following email address:

booksinqhaiku4u at gmail dot com

Once received, your contribution will automatically be acknowledged by the BOOKS, INQ. HAIKU INFO-STRIPPER and forwarded to the esteemed judge.

G'Luck; and, BTW, feel free to post your Haiku here (anonymously, of course). Kinda considering whether we oughtta make A BITESITE (<---- oooh) dedicated to featuring all entries (since I have a feeling they'll be transplendent; thus, if you feel braggo-swaggodociotic, please grant permission to publish your polished gems, TIA).
--
Leonard Cohen first drew the interlocking-hearts symbol for the cover of Book of Mercy (1984), the same year his first masterpiece, Various Positions (containing the song-cycle which includes "Hallelujah"), came into existence. "Here's what you need to know," says he: "There are no meetings, no by-laws, and no dues; and, if you lose the pin, you get another."