Weightiness …

… THINNER ON PAPER. (Hat tip, Dave Lull.)

… when my well-nourished mentor took me to one side with a confidential air, in a deserted brown passageway, I was ready for anything. I thought he might be going to pass judgement (too late) on the appalling suit I had bought for my new job, or to tell me my expenses were too low and I was letting down the side or even maybe to fire me. But no, out of one side of his mouth came the words “You’d be taken more seriously if you put on a few pounds. Gain some weight.” I looked to see if he was joking, but it was clear he was perfectly serious. And given our freedom in those days to take people out for lunch pretty much without question or limit, provided it produced a story, I was able to do as suggested. I became considerably fatter, though without being taken more seriously, then or later. The years roared and tumbled past, as the pounds of lard solidified in all the usual places. I still didn’t fit in, but I also didn’t stand out any more in the gaunt college graduate way I had once done.